9 Things I Hate About Pregnancy

1.   My body changes. A lot.

For those of you who've never experienced pregnancy before, let me elaborate... your belly gets big (obviously). Your butt gets big. Your feet get big. Your boobs get big. Your face gets big (even your nose sometimes). Your skin looks flawless, but then three months later it looks hideous. Your contact lenses don't fit anymore. Your hair looks thicker. EVERYWHERE. Your teeth hurt. You have to pee a lot. (You may not even make it to the toilet... *crickets*) And your taste buds -- you either absolutely love food or loathe and detest it. And don't get me started on your sense of smell...

2.   My emotions change. A LOT. 

Once I made dinner and went to my room before putting away the leftovers. When I came back out, my sister already put them away. I cried. Yep. 

There are other indicators of emotional changes in pregnancy, like when someone puts down the cafeteria food at your old stomping grounds and your usually passive self tells them to shut it. Even if you didn't really eat at said cafeteria; you just suddenly presume they are spoiled, rich brats and you now hate them. 

Or when you cry tears of joy for Russell Crowe's performance at the Oscars with the Les Mis cast... (I will write a review on that. I'm just trying to not make it into an analytic essay.)

3.   My 'okole hurts. 

And my lower back, and my legs. One word: S-C-I-A-T-I-C-A. Look it up. And if you have it but don't get it in check, it'll get worse every pregnancy (trust me -- I KNOW)!

4.   My wardrobe sucks.

Don't ever tell me "but they have super cute maternity clothes all over the place," because then I will pop your face. I hate hate HATE clothes shopping, and I hate even.more. when I can only wear clothes for a limited time. Maternity clothes fit that category. So does a wedding dress.

So yes, instead of trying to keep myself sexy and cute while my belly gets too big for me to walk straight, I dress more like .... well, like I can't walk straight. And save my money for food that helps me do that.

5.   My diet sucks. 

Speaking of food... remember how I said that pregnant women either love food or hate food? It's true. These instances are called food cravings and food aversions. For the first 20 weeks, I am always the latter: nothing tastes good to me. Not my favorite brownies or guava cakes or rocky road ice cream. Not Chinese or cheese or soups. Nothing too sweet, too salty, too sour, or too spicy. Which leaves -- that's right -- fruits and vegetables. What kinda pregnant woman eats only fruits and vegetables?!?

I also have had a diet problem in pregnancy called Gestational Diabetes. I've mentioned it before. That occurs in the latter half of pregnancy, and that is when my taste buds level out and I'm ready to eat my Snickers and M&Ms and milkshakes again. But now I can't. Yep... suck, suck, suck. 

"But it's for a good cause... it's for your baby!" Yeah, don't say that to me, either.

6.   My sleep sucks.

First trimester you just want to sleep it off. Second trimester you can't sleep at all. Third trimester you're thrown in a stupid mix of the first two. I'm too tired to say anymore on this.

7.   I get anxious about being a mother.

Not the yipeeIcan'twaitforthisbabytocome anxious -- the holycrapwhatamIgonnadowiththisbaby anxious. For example: 

Will the baby be healthy? Will she like me? Will she get along with her siblings? Will she be a good, righteous, faithful, upstanding person in the world? Will she be smart, and go to college, and get a good career, and own her own home? Will she wanna get tattoos and pierce her nose and dye her hair the same color as her feelings? Will I be able to teach her how to read, and write, and work, and obey, and share, and take turns, and respect, and love? Should I homeschool her, or put her in every sport and instrument under the sun? Should I make her custom chalk, or shoes, or wall decal? Will I give her everything, or will that be too much? How am I going to handle raising this child? What will people think? 

Like I said, emotions. These questions have come to my mind (not always this dramatic, of course) each pregnancy, so by deductive reasoning (which will also be in short supply now), I blame them on the pregnancy.

8.   I miss being not pregnant.

I miss being on stage. I miss having a sound mind. I miss wearing the cute clothes I have (and can wear over again). I miss working towards getting skinnyier. And I really could go without items 1-7 on this list.

9.   The end is the worst.

If you have ever had a normal pregnancy, the last trimester was probably spent waiting and waiting and waaaaaaaaiting for your little "bundle of joy" to arrive. This is how mine have gone:

Week before delivery: "GETTHISBABYOUTTAMENOWORSOHELPME!!!"

Once in labor: "OWWWITHURTSHOLY***INEVERASKEDFORTHIS!!!"

It's pathetic. But I can't help it. 

I was trying to come up with 10 things, but my brain stopped working.

Of course, there are some things I do like about being pregnant, 

so in all fairness, here is another list for you.

9 Things I Love About Being Pregnant

1. People treat me extra special. ("Oh, take a break." "Let me get that." "You just sit here." "Relax, we got it." I could get used to it.)
2. I have an excuse. ("I can't carry her." "I can't remember." "I can't eat that." "Don't blame me." You could pretty much get away with murder. I'm thinking, though, that the more kids you have, the less effective this could be...)
3. I can eat whatever I want. (Never mind.)
4. Uhhhhhhhhhhh.........

Forget it. That's it.

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Hiding Out

"'Alu 'Auha" has been silent since New Year.

This is why:

...not even kidding...

Yep, Number 4!

("I Am Number 4" lol)

Not that I couldn't say anything until it was official,

but I've felt like keeerraaaaaaaaaap since the end of January.

Am I feeling better? A little.

Am I excited to have another child? I think so.

Am I excited to be pregnant again? Hecks to the NO!!

But I'll save that for the next post...

... which I'm gonna write real soon.

P.S. Due date is September 17. :-)

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Workin' On My Fitness: Hot Hula Instructor's Training

First off, I apologize for my last post. I re-read it and cringed at how poorly written it was. While I know my posts are never 100% perfection, a post about resolutions should have been more fluid and coherent than that high school level diary entry. I doubt I will blog more often than I have been lately, but I will at least make a more concerted effort to give quality posts each time, making your reading my blog more worth your time and mine.

my manual

As I mentioned in my last post, I registered for a Hot Hula fitness instructor's training workshop, and it was this past Saturday! The workshop really opened my eyes to a new understanding of fitness and culture, and I met other trainers from around the island who are absolutely inspiring. I wanted to share some thoughts on this format, in case anyone was interested in learning more about Hot Hula.

PREMISE

I grew up dancing Polynesian dances. I also grew up trying to dance anything I could get my hands on. This led me to dip my toes in all kinds of dance genres, from ballet to hip hop, to ballroom, to folk, and everything in between. I have also choreographed dances and musical numbers throughout my life. Not anything spectacular -- but if you're looking for not spectacular, I'm your girl! :-) I love to dance, and to perform in general, but I'm too old to even start to pursue it professionally. ("Don't ever say you're too old!" Pro dancing is an exception to this statement.) When I first heard about this back in 2010, not only did I think it was brilliant (and about time, I was tired of Zumba already!), but it was something that I could do. Something that kept me doing what I love, sharing (in a small way) the cultures that I love, and staying fit for the rest of my life.

THE FITNESS MIND

As a dancer, training to be an HHF instructor was illuminating. The first thing our master trainers told us was that the primary reason HHF was created is fitness. That means you're not supposed to come to a HHF class to learn how to hula, or to learn how to fa'arapu, or to learn our cultures. You come to get a workout. This should be obvious, but when you live in the land of hula, your paradigm for this format needs to shift. Thankfully I do live in Hawaii, and I can tell people "if you wanna learn real hula, join the halau down the street," or "if you wanna see real Tahitian, go to Tahiti Fete." But if you are looking for a fun dancing workout that takes a break from Zumba and Hip Hop Abs, come check us out!

So as  dancer-turned-instructor, I have 3 things I need to keep in mind as I prepare for this job:

"The moves are modified to give you a workout."

Almost every move that we know in the dancing world is modified for the Hot Hula format, and the statement above explains why. It makes sense when you consider that the creator, Anna-Rita Sloss, created this program from a fitness background, NOT a dancing one. In our manuals, the moves are written out for us and described in columns. The last column shows the different body parts that are being worked with this move. I need to study this section so I can have a better understanding of the exact workout class members will be getting, and let go of my pre-conditioned "proper form."

"You teach the siva exactly as it is and nothing else."

The siva is the bread and butter of the workout, and Anna-Rita has already created 9 of them for us. This was the most disillusioning part of my training. I love to choreograph. I love to fuse different kinds of dance styles together. I love to create a dance from a song of my own choice, and I thought fitness instructors could do that. So of course, I was bummed. But here is how the reason was explained to me: it keeps the fitness format consistent no matter where you go and who teaches, and it keeps from liabilities that come with instructors doing their own thing. For example, one master instructor went to someone else's HHF class, and that lady did fa'arapu all the way down and duck walks. In Tahitian, that's awesome; in HHF, that's bad for your knees. And if someone's knees get messed up because they did duck walk, they could sue Anna-Rita for this one instructor's deviation.

"Start on a high; end on a high."

This one isn't a dealbreaker or anything, but it's something I personally have a big problem with. What I mean is that when I am in front of people, I don't smile. Like ever. (Except for when I dance and do Broadway-type shows -- because I have to.) Even when I was a dance instructor, I never smiled or exuded enthusiasm and energy. I'm guessing it's a mental thing -- my purpose teaching dancing was just to teach them the dance. In Hot Hula, my purpose as their instructor is to give them the Hot Hula workout experience. The master trainers told us, "You give them 50%; they'll give you 15%. So if you want them to give you 100%, you have to give them 130% and more!" This concept is definitely out of my comfort zone, but I know I'm going to have to work on it if I want people to have a good experience at my class and come back again.

So yeah, this is definitely a new adventure for me. But 2013 is all about being better than 2012, and I know that Hot Hula fitness will give me that edge. I am excited and nervous and I hope that people who come to my class will benefit from it just as much as I will. So if you're ever in the North Shore area, come February I will start my classes. I don't know where or when yet, but I'll keep you posted.

P.S. Our master trainers told us that Facebook is the most solid method out there to keep in touch with other HHF sisters and events. So....... to my chagrin....... I'm back on FB. (yay.....) 

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New Year's Resolutions: 2013 Edition

I apologize for my delay in writing a New Year post. I wanted to include some pix and/or vids from our holiday trip... but alas, I'm having photo problems yet again. (Story of this blog's life.) So Happy Pictureless Post New Year to you and yours!

One thing that was good about going home for Christmas is getting a new perspective on life. At least on my current life. I watched my siblings interact with their spouses, with each other, with their children, with other's children, etc. I observed my parents working, teaching, sharing wisdom, growing older. And this was the first Christmas where my heart really ached for my brother-in-law and my sister. It was a holiday of learning, and I am completely humbled by the entire trip.

So this year's resolutions are going to be a bit different for me. I have only one resolution for the year, but I have TONS of smaller goals that will take up less time, like say only a month or two. Here are my first few goals for the year:

• Get baby Chip to sleep without breastfeeding, and have him soothe himself back to sleep 
• Cook at least once a week
• Fix the bunk bed
• Teach the girls something new (a craft, a song, a game, etc.)

Oh, and I don't know if I mentioned anything about Hot Hula Fitness yet, but I registered to get certified to be an instructor! The live workshop is next week Saturday, so I'll keep you posted. I can't believe I just did that...

I almost forgot to talk about my one resolution. My dad gave me a priesthood blessing before we came home, and I was completely blown away. It is amazing how much our Heavenly Father truly knows us. I received counsel and guidance on so many things (that my dad didn't even know about, mind you), and I know that by following this blessing, my life will change. A lot. So this year I have a lot of work to do, and my resolution is: to do what He says. At least to always be striving towards accomplishing what Heavenly Father counseled me to do.

This year is going to be different. Can anyone else feel it too?

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Merry Christmas, Everyone!

I'm home!

I'm so happy to be home!

I've been here for a week, and I'll be here for another two weeks.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to me!

Not everyone has made it yet

so far just us Hawaii clan -- minus Jobi, who's coming soon

but once they get here, it will be cooking

cleaning

making presents

and practicing for the Christmas Eve program.

You know, the one that's in the living room

in front of all the family.

It's a pretty big deal. We have a pretty big family.

I'm soexcitedandslightlystressed and have a lot to do for the Christmas Eve program

and I'm still trying to process all the feelings I have about this trip so far

that I'm going to end this post to collect my thoughts.

It'll probably take two or three posts to sort them out... so be ready. :-)

Until then...

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