The Homeschool Post

I'm not a fan of homeshool. I've never been. I love the idea of sending my kids off into the world to make friends, get playground cuts and scrapes, discover their capacity among their peers, and find their niche -- while I have free morning time to clean the house, run errands, exercise, or even just veg at the beach for a bit without having to lug around extra bodies with screaming pipes.

That was a long sentence. I gotta work on that.

But anyway...

I'm not a mean mom, and I don't hate being a mom. I just know that some mothers are not cut out to homeschool their kids, and I'm one of them. My temper is short and my patience is thin, and I feel there are some things my kids just can't learn from me. Like how people will treat them knowing they're Mormon. Or what is common courtesy in a water polo game. And I don't want my lack of successful teaching skills to affect my children's capacity (and even desire) to learn. I still consider my mom a genius for sending me to someone else to learn the piano despite her own proficiency. She knew I'd love the instrument, but not if she taught it to me herself. To me, traditional schooling just makes sense.

But I now have a dilemma: Almonds can't gt into preschool. Either our income doesn't qualify her for Head Start, or the regular preschools are too expensive. Moving so late in the year took the chance away from getting any scholarships, too. And now we know for sure that she has to be held back a year because of her birthday, so our girl who's been begging for a whole year to go to school will have to wait even longer.

So we went to WalMart last week to get her some preschool learning books and some crayons and pencils, and I'll start homeschooling her for preschool next Monday. Now Jobi and I are actually considering homeschooling her for kindergarten to see if she can just jump in to first grade on time. Aside from homeschool, there are only two other options: 1) Kamehameha kindergarten (super-fantastic private school for native Hawaiians -- that's 1.5 hours from home by bus), or 2) just start her when the school policy says to. I see benefits and drawbacks for each of these options, but I just wish I didn't have to make this choice in the first place.

Please give me some input. I'm dying here! What do you think?


Sent from my android device.

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Letter to My 38-year-old Self

Dear Esther,

I have great things in store for you.

As I’m writing this, you are 154 lbs., a size 16, waddling from a stiff sacral iliac nerve/joint/whatever, and eating lots of sweet junk. You get headaches that involve memory lapses and out-of-focus vision. You are constantly tired and have no energy to give to your kids. Your postpartum hair loss is leaving you completely unconfident. You have 3 kids who stay indoors all day, and they are content to do so. You are forever stressed about your oldest's education, and your parents' house, and getting out of debt, and your siblings' health. And you watched 60-something-year-old Kate Beckinsale do crazy fighting scenes in “Total Recall” and got slapped in the face by the reality of your lame life. This life YOU CREATED FOR YOURSELF!

Well, you’re gonna create a NEW life. And I’m starting you on it RIGHT NOW!!!

You are going to start: 

• PRAYING everyday, with your family AND by yourself
• reading SCRIPTURES everyday, if at all with your family 
• reading more BOOKS to your children
• EDUCATING them (through creative play and exploration) 
• going to the TEMPLE at least twice a month

• drinking 10 cups (80 oz.) of water DAILY
• cutting back on junk food (SERIOUSLY!!)
• eating more VEGETABLES
• RUNNING (or jogging, whatever)
• dancing for fitness and fun (maybe for performances, maybe not)
• kickboxing, kettlebell-ing, surfing, getting back into volleyball, whatever you can
• doing yoga and/or meditation at least once/week
• writing in your journal again
• learning a foreign language (either Mongolian with Jobi or ASL with the kids)
• making an income from home
• looking into furthering your education more seriously
• planning better family traditions, routines, date nights, and “me” times
• SPENDING TIME WITH FRIENDS

By the time you read this, you are going to: 

• effectively understand and recall scriptural passages with moderate accuracy 
• be in the best physical shape of your life 
• have a healthy, balanced lifestyle 
• raise children with discipline and a love of learning and Heavenly Father 
• feel like a bazillion bucks 
• find your passion

You see this list? DO YOU SEE THIS LIST??? Read it again.

And again.

That’s right … I have high expectations for you, my friend.

You better be ready. Set goals. Make a plan. Act. Pace yourself. Get help. Do whatever you need to get these things done. Because the 28-year-old you — the you that is ME, right now …

… has got. to. go.

See You on the Flipside, 

~ Esther

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A Quick Post

I'm finally breathing. Not fully inhaling, but breathing nonetheless.

Just wanted to let you know. I'm not dead.

I'll get back on the blogwagon soon.

Love ya!

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Bed

It's 6:30 and the sun has long risen. Bodies curl under blankets to find warmth, yet the fan is spinning overhead. I rock a baby back to dreamland while typing on my phone, two girls by my side and a man at the far end. All is well.

This last week was a blur. Business. Bills. Waiting. Rushing. Working. Papers. Yelling. Juice. Katsu. Everything seems like a distant memory, and yet it.just.happened. I remember struggling to find sleep, but for some reason I don't even know how I stayed awake through it all. And now today is Saturday, which means this week -- this week I had hoped would be ... oh, I dunno ... fun -- is over. And soon, the real work begins.

In 48 hours, Jobi will leave to begin work on Oahu, leaving me and the kids to close up shop here. Work. In less than two weeks, the kids and I will follow him, and we will all be living in lovely Laie once again. More work. Sorting our finances, looking for extra income, repairing the house and fixing up the yard, establishing routine, and doing it all in a full house. This move is going to force us to be stronger, smarter, faster, more hardworking, BETTER than ever before, and I can't even begin to explain how.

But this? This scene? This moment? Of all of us piled onto a single bed, as a complete family? This is what I'm choosing to live in right now. Because yesterday was crazy. Because tomorrow will be crazier. Because once we all wake up and get out of bed, this moment will be lost forever. So I am taking this moment to simply enjoy what I'm blessed with...

... and breathe.

(P.S. you should too...)

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Just a Little Crazy

crossroads

A while ago, I was about to write a post about why I am going a little crazy. But it would've sounded oddly similar to this post on my cousin's blog, posted just before I began writing. So instead of trying to sound like her (since, I'll be honest, I wish I could write like her), I'm just going to start typing and see what comes out.

• We are moving.
• Chip is 11 weeks old today and weighs over 16 lbs.
• Chip is 11 weeks old today, and I thought he was only 8 weeks old.
• Blondie is trying to get potty-trained.
• Jobi is getting a new job.
• We are moving.
• Cockroaches are infesting our apartment.
• I'm speaking in church on Fathers' Day.
• We are moving.

Did I mention that we are moving? Yes, it is because my mister has a new job.

Ugh, my mind is all out of sorts! And I've been neglecting this blog so that I can... well... sort it out. 

See, this new job that Jobi is taking is to replace the ROTC instructor's position at our old stomping grounds, which he applied for last year and got turned down.  Now the current instructor is deploying (go figure), and they want Jobi to start end of July. They offered it to him the beginning of May; he accepted; I booked flights for me and the kids. Then suddenly, Jobi realized that there was a possibility that he may NOT get this job. Short story: the other guy may not be deploying. Long story (if you really wanna know): the other guy is in the Hawaii National Guard, just like Jobi. And just like Jobi, all the Guard units in Hawaii have been getting thrown around mission and deployment assignments. Jobi was actually supposed to be in Afghanistan this fall, but they cancelled. Then he was supposed to go to Kuwait, but cancelled. Then a mission to the Philippines opened up -- then cancelled. So Jobi realized that this guy just might possibly have his same fate of a cancelled deployment. Once he realized that, we have been nervously twiddling our thumbs waiting for a sure answer from them. Our whole wow-what-an-awesome-opportunity attitude suddenly became what-the-heck-are-we-gonna-do fear. 

More long story:

Before the phone call, we had decided that we were going to stay on Maui for another 5 years or so. We had a plan to rent a bigger apartment, go back to school, Jobi transferring departments in the hotel, and me running marathons. ;-) The hotel has given us good benefits and a stable lifestyle (not rich and glamorous, but enough to pay our bills), and I have been dying to make use of some of their perks (like free hotel stays). This ROTC job is just a contract job: salary only, no health insurance (we got three kids to think about, here!), and no guarantee of keeping the job longer than one school year. Not to mention we'd be moving into a house that is teetering on foreclosure and our secondary purpose for the move is to save it. So as you can see, moving back to Oahu and taking this job is a leap of faith for us. Probably even a leap of stupidity. And if we got there and there was no job for my mister, then we would be in trouble.

Well, this morning the new job called and said that not only is he (my mister) a go for the job, but they need him to start in two weeks. Yes, you read correctly... in TWO WEEKS!!

WHATTHEHOLYCRAZYOLDLADY!?!?

(I mean, *ahem* yay.....)

So now my what-the-heck-are-we-gonna-do fear is replaced by are-you-kidding-me craziness. Now I gotta change our flight to a week ahead and book Jobi's flight for Father's Day. Now I gotta pack and clean and check us out and ship the van myself instead of with my husband. Now I gotta cancel the dentist, cancel the chiropractor, cancel the potty trainer (one of these days I'll write about her), cancel the hotel stay (5-star, 5-diamond *waah*), and forget about that farewell party I wanted to have. Now I gotta move double speed so everything can be done in half the time. Now I gotta stop thinking about stupid third-party hiring contractors and start thinking about our little wicker lounge under the 'ulu tree and my piano that I miss soooo much. Now I gotta accept the fact that we are leaving Maui, just as this place and I were starting to become friends.

*sigh* And on top of all this, I need to get new contacts.

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