Father's Day Sign Nightmare

So I saw this great Father's Day sign on a lovely little site called Pinterest:

link here

But alas, there was no link to a free printable, like it said.

So I thought: I'm crafty, right? I can make my own!

And make my own I did! And I was so proud!

See? Cool, huh!

But something happened...

(as it always does with me and crafts)

... my printer's color printing capability was broken!

What the holy?!? Jeez!!

I spent a good part of an entire evening/night trying to fix it, but with no luck.

So the next morning, after huffing and puffing, I thought: ok, Square One.
Make from scratch!

I hate it when I overcomplicate things.

Like, for example, cutting corrugated cardboard with a flimsy Xacto knife instead of a box cutter...

or instead of using thinner cardboard... or paper.

Almonds took this photo, btw

(Lesson 1: unless the triangles are HUGE, corrugated cardboard is a waste of time.)

Or trying to combine two Pinterest projects into one:

trying out this art idea ... but not actually following instructions

I thought the kids would enjoy painting these.
Turns out, none of us did.

I looked at the painted triangles and sighed. Jobi's not gonna like these. I just know it. Effort and creativity don't compute in that man.

So I left the painted side as is and wrote the letters on the back.

What a waste

Do you notice only the "W" has holes punched in it?

Yeah, the single hole punch I had was not strong enough for me to use for the rest of the triangles.

And guess what???

The 3-hole punch didn't have an opening big enough for the cardboard to fit!

(Lesson 2: don't plan on hole-punching corrugated cardboard.)

At that point, I screamed... and threw them straight into the trash.

That's right. I gave up.

To put icing on the cake, this was what I saw Almonds doing while I was working on my triangles:

permanent marker

(Lesson 3: nail polish remover gets permanent marker off wood.)

Ok... I didn't REALLY give up...

Two days later, I had a simple but ingenius idea:
If the colors don't print, just make the sign in black and white.
DUUUUUUHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
Like I said, Jobi's not creative. He's not gonna care.

This one took me all of 10 minutes to do. He has it hanging in his room as we speak.

Ultimate Lesson: if the craft gives you gray hairs or bald spots, DON'T DO IT!

(P.S. When I figure out how to make these into free printables, I'll put them up here! I really was proud of my sign work -- but alas, even turning them into printables is giving me a migraine.)

Read More

Carrot Cupcake with Cream Cheese Frosting

A visiting teachee of mine just gave birth, so last-minute I made her dessert.

I'm soooooo grateful we had cake mixes, cupcake liners, cream cheese and powdered sugar.

We actually had tons of cake mixes (it's kinda dumb, because we never make cake), so I asked Almonds to choose one.

She chose carrot cake. Yum!

So naturally I made cream cheese frosting to go with it.

These were literally the only thing I've created all week that didn't make me wanna scream!

I found this recipe online, which just so happened to be the one all my sisters and family has used my whole life. The only thing I added was one teaspoon of lemon juice, to soften the cream cheese taste. Sometimes the cream cheese frostings taste too cream-cheesy for me, ya know?

It was so yummy! You guys should make some sometime.

That is all.

Read More

Saying Goodbye

Almonds took this picture

I can't believe this week has actually come... and gone. It was filled with too many trips back and forth, more ups and downs than I can count, tears, laughs, hugs, kisses, prayers and well wishes. And of course, goodbyes.

The last time I said goodbye to Jobi, he called me at 1:00 am telling me he forgot his keys in the van. And of course those keys were so important, that I had to find them, drive all the way across the island at 4 in the morning, and give them to him before he left. I spent that whole drive there yelling at the top of my lungs at him for making me do this. "Why couldn't you just remember to grab them?" "I do everything for you!" "You suck!" 

Not at him, him, of course. Just pretending that he was in the car with me. So I can give him a piece of my mind. You know what I mean?

So after an hour's drive and asking half a dozen people for directions, I found him and gave him his precious keys... and prayed with him one last time. And suddenly I felt pretty lucky. Lucky that I got one more chance to pray side-by-side with my husband. Lucky that I got to see a different part of the island for the first time. Lucky that I could say goodbye once more, and that each goodbye felt a little bit easier.

After 6 years, I still can't believe I married "Weird Boy." And now our weird adventures continue, and because of them, this weird boy has become the love of my life.

Jobi's parents and my sister... support

Daddy-daughter (mini) date ... watching a Netflix movie on his phone

Waiting for dinner ... while Chip runs off

A hui hou, sweetie. Can't wait to see you again soon.

"Weird Boy" -- 7 years later

Read More

Pre-Deployment Family Photos

Sorry about that last post.

Depressed much?

I try to keep this blog as honest and true to myself as possible, but I still have yet to find that perfect balance between what is too much and what is not enough

... as far as content, that is.

But the fact of the matter is that this is my life now -- pregnancy and deployment. And as much as I can  post another movie review or another fabulous DIY tutorial, my blog wouldn't be my blog if I didn't share myself with it. My struggles in finding my place in this world. My true feelings about "going for broke" in life. So yeah, you'll keep seeing those kinds of posts now and again.

But this post is not one of them.

This post has pictures!

One thing I wanted to make sure we did as a family before Jobi left was to take family photos. No way was I going to let him go off on his grand adventure without leaving photos of himself behind for the kids. Sure, we have Skype and what not, but we don't really have photos of him with the kids, and in case anything happens, I want them to see that their father loves them, that they love their father, and that we truly are a family.

I'm beyond grateful for Marianna Ah Quin who took our photos. Because the kids are still small, there aren't any pics where all of them are looking at the camera at once. But these pretty much portray my little family accurately: from my Jobi's military haircut, to the clothes that Blondie picked out herself. Here are only a few:

I love this one!

And Chip's crying never ends.....

Daddy's little girl -- Almonds' best friend

My studs

My favorite

And our happy family... never mind that we all look a little funny.

 I know my kids are gonna love these. And I hope that Jobi will too -- especially while he'll be so far away, and since we'll be adding one more before he returns.

Read More

As He Prepares to Leave

Everyone has their battles. Everyone has things that are difficult to do, even if they are easy for other people. Before it all began, I didn't think I would have a problem. I had even looked forward to the idea, thinking of all the possibilities that would be open to me once these situations arise.

I'm talking about deployment.

In the 6 years that my Jobi has been in the military, he has not seen deployment once. Yes, he's been to BCT/AIT, LDAC, and BOLC, but not an actual deployment. Where it's a minimum of 6 months and a maximum of I-can't-tell-you. Where he won't be able to call me until whenever-the-heck-he-can. Where his mission is to something-I-don't-know, and he's going to who-knows-where. This is his first time, and so this is my first time.

And I'm not ready.

I'm not ready to send our bossy little Almonds off to kindergarten this year without him by my side. I'm not ready to make the day-long grocery and household shopping trips across island with Chip screaming in the back, by myself. I'm not ready to give birth to #4 while he watches via Skype. I'm not ready to pay the bills, register the car, fix the fridge, and kill the giant cockroaches. I'm not ready to spend more sleepless nights with anywhere from one to four kids needing to be held, rocked, bathed, fed, sang to, read to, or anything-else-to-get-them-to-sleep. And I'm certainly not ready to spend the hundredth night in a row sleeping alone.

Almonds and Blondie cried the other night. And when I say cried, I mean wailed. I sang them songs; I read them stories; I spoke kind and loving words for what seemed like days. Then I just sat next to them and cried too. Because I knew why they were inconsolable. And it hurt. Their dad isn't deployed yet, but he hasn't come home since post-mobilization began, and they know something's up. This time, "Army work" is different. And they don't like it. Not any more than I do. Not at all. 

So yeah, of all the things I anticipated about being a military wife, I did not expect to hate deployment so much. I did not expect I would cry every night for a month, even while he's home. I especially didn't expect I would dread doing the mundane, laborious things that my husband usually takes care of. Before marriage, I never had a problem with paperwork, money issues, car stuff, household repairs, or shopping with the kids. (I always hated killing giant bugs though -- let's not get ahead of ourselves.) But now, I am a massive stress case. These things have been swirling around me and I can barely keep my balance. But it's too late -- he's already "gone," and so I'm the man of my house now. If I had a choice, I'd fall asleep and wake up when he comes home. But I have no choice. I take it back -- I made my choice. I chose to marry this man. And now I must make another choice: to be strong, or not to be strong. (Wow, that wasn't cliche at all.)

I know I have help. My siblings are the best, and my children adore their family. My friends are just a phone call away (which I suck at, just to let y'all know). This town has lots of great things me and the kids can be involved in, and I'm kinda excited about that. And I know that if we just keep moving, the time will indeed pass. It's my mantra for the rest of this year: Just Keep Moving. And when me and the girls wanna cry for our "Daddy," we will stop and cry. And then we will get up and keep moving. I can't stop too long or I will stay there, and that's no good for anybody. Especially not my children, who need their mother so badly.

So as he prepares to leave, I prepare to stay. To be present. To be lonely, but never alone. To move, and to keep moving. This is my battle, and I'm scared to death.

But I'm gonna win.

Read More