Monday, March 26, 2012

38 Weeks

There are so many posts I am behind on
but I don't care anymore.
I'm tired.

I will work on them later
when I have energy
new motivation
the baby

But for now, I will just sleep.
The apartment will never clean itself.
I have to accept the grossness of that. For now.
This boy will never come when I tell him to.
I have to accept that too.
But pregnancy doesn't last forever, either.
Unless you're my mom and got pregnant +12 times in 20 years
or Jobi's great-grandma who spent her whole marriage in bed having 26 kids
or even the lady on "19 Kids and Counting"
who just joys in being a baby-making machine.

I know I'm still early according to my EDD so I have no reason to really be complaining.
But I honestly -- HONESTLY -- thought, and felt, and knew
that he was going to be born already. I thought my son and I
were on the same wavelength here.

I guess it was all just wishful thinking.

I guess Heavenly Father is trying to tell me that it's ok to wait
or that I'm not yet ready
or that my son is not yet ready
or that patience is a virtue

I don't know.

P.S. I don't want anymore kids on Maui. These OB/GYNs that I've had for the past 2 pregnancies are soulless automatons. (Thanks "Glee" for the terminology.) The only 2 Maui OB/GYNs I actually enjoyed were the one on-call who delivered Blondie, and the only male OB/GYN I know of on this island. And the dumb insurance switch took me away from them both.

1 comment:

  1. I hope the baby comes soon!! can't wait to see pictures!


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