38 Weeks

There are so many posts I am behind on

but I don't care anymore.

I'm tired.

I will work on them later

when I have energy

enthusiasm

new motivation

the baby

But for now, I will just sleep.

The apartment will never clean itself.

I have to accept the grossness of that. For now.

This boy will never come when I tell him to.

I have to accept that too.

But pregnancy doesn't last forever, either.

Unless you're my mom and got pregnant +12 times in 20 years

or Jobi's great-grandma who spent her whole marriage in bed having 26 kids

or even the lady on "19 Kids and Counting"

who just joys in being a baby-making machine.

I know I'm still early according to my EDD so I have no reason to really be complaining.

But I honestly -- HONESTLY -- thought, and felt, and knew

that he was going to be born already. I thought my son and I

were on the same wavelength here.

I guess it was all just wishful thinking.

I guess Heavenly Father is trying to tell me that it's ok to wait

or that I'm not yet ready

or that my son is not yet ready

or that patience is a virtue

I don't know.

P.S. I don't want anymore kids on Maui. These OB/GYNs that I've had for the past 2 pregnancies are soulless automatons. (Thanks "Glee" for the terminology.) The only 2 Maui OB/GYNs I actually enjoyed were the one on-call who delivered Blondie, and the only male OB/GYN I know of on this island. And the dumb insurance switch took me away from them both.